Depression

I haven't posted this week because I have been struggling with "to be depression or not to be depression". I know the symptoms all to well. The one sign of depression that I became aware of when reading Brilliant Madness: Living with Manic Depressive Illness was agitated depression. This is why management is so difficult. I can become agitated/irritable when I am not getting enough sleep and when it seems that I am getting enough sleep.

I have been getting a fair amount of sleep this week. But I have noticed that I get tired easily and my motivation level has dropped. My agitation/irritability this week has been noticeable.

I would say I am definitely leaning towards the depressive side of bipolar disorder.

I received a comment from Susanne in which she states that she has delegated monitoring her behavior to her husband because he is more perceptive. I also count on my husband to be aware of my moods and sleep. He is more objective is assessing the information. I tend be harder on myself about my behaviors. He helps me to not beat myself up too bad. This helps me to develop a more realistic plan to deal with this moment in time.

I am very thankful. This winter has been the best winter I have had in I don't know when. Being on the right medication has done wonders for me.

Well, I am going to get some things done while I am motivated.

Breathe!