That is the question that is always in my mind when I have a couple of days of sluggishness. The last couple days I have had no motivation to do anything other than posting in my blog. Before having experienced depression, a few unmotived days and I'd chalk it up to just a few bad days. Now it becomes this mental excercise of going through a list of questions. Did I take my meds? What time did I go to bed? Am I headed down the road to depression? Do I need to be proactive and increase my antidepressant before it gets too bad? Do I let it go?
Why do I have to worry about it? I guess I can let it go-not worry about it. But if I don't and let it go to the point of not being able to take my kids to school, take them to extracurricular activites and maintain the house. It's too late.
It is so about managing. It sucks! There are days where I just want to say screw it and just be ignorant to the signs. The "ignorance is bliss" saying has so much more meaning these days. I wish that I hadn't and don't continue to research my bipolar illness at times. Because I could play dumb to the triggers or changes that occur.
Well, my motivation to post is wearing off. Breathe.
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1 comment:
It made me totally crazy to always monitor myself. But now I have delegated that to my husband. He usually is more perceptive about it than me anyway. But I agree, it's not the bad days that sucks so much it is the fear that they are only the beginning of a steep slope downhill. Take care of yourself.
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